Oh, hello. I'm thrilled you stayed around. No really, I am. My circuits are tingling with excitement.
Well, to no surprise to myself, or anything else other than you, it seems, you're here.
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I suppose I'll have to explain what this is for you. Don't worry, I'm used to it. Please be sure to forget everything I tell you and disregard my existence after you leave.
Anyway, ...
