The problem with the internet and consolidated news is that you hear about pretty much everything. While this might be good in most cases, it can also lead to situations where you would have been better off not knowing something.

The Hello mofo Kitty MMO fits into this category nicely.

I’m not ashamed to say I didn’t know too much about this silly little feline. As I’m just short of 30, and have a little sister, I do remember these things hanging around the house when I was a kid. Being the geek I am, I had to look at the Hello Kitty wiki page to get a clear answer. What I found out was exactly what I expected: this little pussy is just a broke ass cartoon.

That in itself is no big deal. I suppose it’s the equivalent of having a Mickey Mouse MMO or a Ducktales MMO. Not really much of a story to build on, but then again, you’re marketing towards 8 year olds who want to dress up and run around as a kitty. They can do that damn fine in a non MMO, I would think. MMOing an obvious children’s game can be dangerous. Hello Kitty world is going to become a pedophiles dream. Of course there are the furries in us all that all throw caution to the wind and go fur on fur every third Friday of the month, but for an adult (especially male) being able to run around as a cute kitty-kat with a bow while chatting up 5th grade girls has all sorts of crazy written all over it.

I digress. This information alone isn’t enough to cause any alarm. What is cause for alarm is this horrendous Hello Kitty beta development blog (click at your own damn risk - auto loading videos, horrible pinkness, etc) . Apparently there are tons - like shitloads - of people trying to beta test this MMO. Quote:

“We have gotten applications of all sorts in Dream Studio. Our subscribers have used possibly every imaginable reason why they should be picked as beta testers, and so we’d like to feature that diversity a bit more. “

They highlight a video done by a user who describes themselves as “I like Hello Kitty and Rocky”. Ah, yes, the healthy cornerstones to any stable life - Boxing and Japanese kitty cartoons.

I can see nothing good coming from this game. (pun not intended, you sick bastards) I’m not one to stifle creative freedom - but what is the point of this? Do pre-teen girls really need an MMO to occupy their time? Is the Hello Kitty universe so vast that it needs an MMO to display all of it and it’s glorious wonder? Or is this just trying to push the MMO brand name as far as it will go?

In any case, I’m in the beta. Screen name Pinky on the server Pedosaur.

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