I thought I’d take my first shot at boring the masses on yet another forum here at the site that was confused by some fried hipsters as being another “clue” for a shit storm of sub par digital masturbation.

As you may have seen over at the Why We Don’t Suck (More Than That Old Guy In High School) page, I’m the “one” that apparently hates everything except micro-brews, old 80’s records and to wax philosophical on things that really are of no import. Wait, that almost sounds like a hipster. [damn] I’ll go slit my wrists after this post.

But first I do need to clear something up, Arch Rivals while being of outstanding kick-assery on the trusty old NES it just pales in comparison to my actual “favorite”, NBA Live ‘97 for the original Playstation.

I can not tell you the level of awesomeness it was to have a three point shooting contest from half court with Dudley from the old Jail Blazers and Ewing, old NYU style.

It’s just about as awesome as also popping in that same console a fresh copy of Madden ‘97 and dropping back twenty yards to toss a game winning throw with Troy “You The Coach?” Aikman and Michael “They Are Just Self-Imployed Models” Irvin.

TOUCHDOWN!!!

Arch Rivals - NES

Seriously I don’t have a favorite game… but if I did, it’d probably be anything from the Atari Jaguar. Hell yeah talk about state of the art, that hunk of plastic had mad brain power with it’s massively powerful “Tom” Chip (26.59MHz). [Someone would actually put out the .59 on a clock rating? Why not just say have a slogan that states: Atari Jaguar! It's almost as good as the next step up!]

And if you don’t know just some four to five years before the Jaguars “release” the world was finally graced with the acting and screen presence of one Yankovic.

Yeah I’m talking of course about UHF.

UHF

Why don’t we get more films like that these days? You know, with more “Weird Al”? And how come no one has made a game with the likes of Run-D.M.C.? Or have they?

Yikes!

Bah, that’s what we need, an 80’s MMORPG, you know where you go around collecting “memorabilia” from bygone eras and chatting with other players on what’s wrong with the “game” and how they could fix it if they just did X, Y, Z. Or maybe…. wait…. [sigh]

I need a beer, or three.

So what does all of this have to do with itchy balls?

You see, this much typing, it makes me sweat… and I think you see where this is going.

Until next time I ascend from my rolling office chair, consider yourselves saved.

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